I've never experienced such an emotional end to a year.  I can't say, as I usually do, "I'm so ready to be done with the old year."  Of course, I'm ready...but 2010 was a year of extremes.   The joy of my life arrived but I also lost loved ones and friends.  January 17th brought the high point of my year, and several days following were the lowest points in my entire life.

There is one thing I can say for certain, 2010 will be a year I will always remember.  There were times I loved it and times I loathed it.  I can only pray that 2011 is full of joy and endless possibilities.  I wish the same to you & yours. 

Tis the season for updates...

Last Sunday evening, we were at the Ronald McDonald House in Dallas getting ready for Clark's day surgery the following morning.  Let me tell you, the RMH-Dallas goes all out to help their house guests feel as comfortable as possible.  There are parents of NICU babies, cancer patients, orthopedic patients (that's Clark!) & more that stay here.  To say it's a huge house is an understatement.  It's beautiful, clean, they serve 3 meals a day and have a number of activities for parents and families to participate in.  We really do feel right at home when we stay there.

 

 We got to the hospital around 6am and went to day surgery (which, we will remember next time, doesn't even open until 7am.)  So much for those reminder letters that firmly state to arrive by 6.  While Clark was being checked in, he was weighed in his old cast so that we could then weigh the cast once they sawed it off of him, and then reweigh him in his new cast SO we would have an accurate weight when we go to his RSV clinic every month.

So, we saw the day surgery nurse, then we saw the anesthesiology resident (cue menacing: dun dun DUNNNNN).  A little bit later the anesthesiologist comes in, who I find out later, is the head of anesthesiology at the hospital.  She scoops him up and carries him away to the OR.  Surgery takes about 45 minutes & his doctor comes out to fill us in.  His hip looks perfect, it didn't pop out when they "manipulated" (I'm thinking, in OR speak, that roughly translates as "brutalized") it.  He's now in a shorter cast (cue angels singing) and provided all goes well, we should be done with this cast business by mid January.  I'll be holding my breath until then, but I must say that things have been MUCH better since we got rid of the blue cast.

Ok, so you know there's a BUT coming, right?  For starters, Clark came back from the OR screaming and looking like this:

 

Which, ok, I know...I'm his mother, and I will notice tiny differences.  But just for the sake of explanation, and because I have the pictures, let me show you how he looked following his last two (invasive) surgeries.  As a reminder, during this surgery all they did was replace the cast & inject dye into his hip socket, no scalpels.

On the left is his hernia surgery in March and on the right is from his hip surgery in October.  Both pictures are immediately following recovery, just like the 1st one.  He's normal colored in both and not screaming.  So you can see where I might have sensed something was amiss.

It took me several minutes, but once I was able to calm him, I noticed some very red, angry looking scrapes beneath both ears behind his jaw.  I've circled it in this picture: 

Long, long story semi-short:  I asked the nurse what the scrapes were and he said they looked like they were from a jaw thrust which they use to "get the baby to scream after surgery" (his words).  I let it go at first because I'm like, well...ok, makes sense I guess.  I asked the anesthesia resident if everything went ok during surgery.  He said "oh, yeah."  Then Clark started vomiting (which also has never happened post-op).  He continued to vomit after every bottle on the way home and the following day.  We went to see our dear friend, who is a chiropractor, and she said his neck was quite out of alignment.  So, then I start thinking, ok...jaw thrust, neck problems...um....hmmmm.  

Let me insert that I did use my google-fu to find out more about jaw thrusts, and from what I can tell, they're used when an infant patient isn't oxygenating well.  Other methods used are foot or chest thumps (with which we are quite familiar.)  But nothing mentioned using jaw thrusts to awaken a patient from surgery, or really anything other than using the method as a life saving technique.

So I got in touch with the head of anesthesiology (who, remember, was the attending during surgery).  I was pretty hot at this point, but I laid it all out on the table.  Q: Why the jaw thrust? A: "It's a very gentle procedure, but I'm looking back through the notes and I see there were no problems during surgery..."  So again....WHY the jaw thrust & it's not very gentle if there are scrapes!?  I never did get a definitive answer.  Just that she left the resident holding the vent tube while she "charted". Oh..and said resident is going into a staff doctor position next week.  Watch out kids...

I requested to get the anesthesiologist from our 1st surgery from here on out.  Request granted.  You better believe I'm going to hold them to it.  And guys, get yourself to the chiropractor...they work magic.  Clark's vomiting improved after 1 adjustment and has virtually ceased after 2.  Better yet, if you're in central Texas, go see Dr Jessi at Isdale Chiropractic in Killeen...and yeah, tell her Clark sent you.

Ok, so, now that you've heard the extended version of our cast #2 saga.. I'll show you the cast.

 

Let me just tell you that Clark is *thrilled* to be in the shorter cast.  He can snuggle closer, kick his feet around AND turn in a circle on the floor!  That's big stuff for a baby in a body cast.  The top of this one comes up pretty stinkin high, unfortunately.  But, the faster he grows, the smaller the cast will seem.  And January is just around the corner.  We cannot wait for him to be cast-free!

`Tis the season..for photography, apparently.  I'm crossing my fingers that Santa brings me a new lens.  (Oh, and some much-needed photography lessons..heh.)

 

 

I know you probably get tired of hearing this, but I really do appreciate you caring enough to take the time to read about Clark.  I don't post near as often as I once did, but rest assured, I don't plan on leaving the world of blogging any time soon.  I hope this season finds you well and that you can enjoy it with the people who mean the most to you in this life.  Please be in prayer, especially during this season, for the families who have lost someone.  No one can bring comfort like God.

So the hours are ticking away and day surgery is fast approaching.  I'm on the edge of losing it.  I've had enough hospital for the rest of my life.  I'm sick of my baby having procedures done and going under anesthesia.  Yes.  I know how lucky and blessed we are that he's even here.  Still.  Enough of hospitals.

ps I still love you, Scottish Rite...just not right now.  It's not you, it's me.


In other news, Clark had his appointment with the ophthalmologist on Thursday. Annnnd...drumroll please...he's extremely near sighted.  He's getting baby spectacles.  They'll look like this:

He's finally gotten the diagnosis of septo-optic dysplasia.  The absent septum pellucidum part, as of yet, has yet to be confirmed by MRI, but that will come after all of this cast/hip business.

 The septum pellucidum is the guy I highlighted.  He is suspected to be missing in Clark's brain & is the one that is responsible for developing the optic nerve.

His optic nerve is what they call "hypoplastic" which is just a fancy word for "it's small, underdeveloped and therefore doesn't function fully".  At least we skipped the hypoplastic lung part.  So...optic nerve things, we can live with.  Of course, genetics may also play a part, as Jeramy is quite nearsighted himself.

On to the details...

Tomorrow [Sunday] we leave for Dallas.  We'll be staying at the Ronald McDonald House-Dallas again..it's a wonderful, wonderful house.  And then Clark is scheduled to be admitted Monday morning at 6.  His surgery should start at 8.  I'm asking for all of you to pray for him.  We just need everything to go smoothly and the best it possibly can.  Also, please pray for us.  I realize (and hope) that Clark will only be special needs for a short time, but it's very tough to handle some days.  I have so much respect for families who are dealing with this day in, day out for years.

I recently read a quote on Facebook from one of my very dear antepartum nurses, it read: "Faith can move mountains, but don't be surprised if God hands you a shovel."  I feel like God handed me a shovel last year.  And without that shovel we wouldn't be where we are today.  But I'm weary, in farm terms, I've been rode hard and put up wet, I'm draggin my heels.  Digging, digging and digging is hard work. 

Thank you guys for caring and especially for taking this journey with us by praying for us, and all your generosity and love.  We couldn't ask for more.